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Last week, we shared the tell-tale signs that someone has a Dirty A** Kitchen. Today, we’re getting more personal and moving into some serious territory: your closet and clutch. From makeup to mooching, we’re showcasing the five ways you get down and dirty (and the risks that come along with your bad behavior). Find a quiet and secluded spot and read along as we spill your naughty secrets and share how to redeem all of your sins.
1 | It’s written all over your face.
Hey there, bombshell, from your lashes to your lips, one thing is certain: you’ve got it goin’ on. The question is: is what you’re using to put it on clean enough to touch your face? Let’s first discuss those makeup brushes you rarely wash. You know, the ones that collect dead skin, dust and anything that sprays or spews near them? Well, while you’re swiping caution to the wind, you’re also smearing bacteria all over your face which is why you’re more prone to acne, skin irritation, allergic reactions and a muddy mix of color that makes you look older than you are. Ready to do an about-face? Check out Makeup.com’s tips for cleaning your beauty tools.
2 | You’re big on sharing.
When my friends come to my house, it’s mi casa es su casa–but you had better bring your own makeup bag. From pinkeye, staph infections and flat warts, to oral herpes (yes, herpes), eye pencils, mascara wands, moist lip glosses and even shadows are prime real estate for bacteria and viruses.
“Be as selfish with your makeup as you would your toothbrush.”
Right now, you’re likely thinking of those rushed visits to Sephora where you swiped unwashed lip liners and lipsticks to your mouth thus kissing the millions of others who used them; the ones who licked their lips 100 times that day. Accept your sordid past and calm down. Take a deep breath and the secret to your grave, but for heaven’s sake, be as selfish with your makeup as you would your toothbrush. Share tips, not tools.
3 | You have a mouth like a sailor… who never flossed.
I don’t know about you but I love a good and solid Bette Davis-style, “I’ll be damned” now and again (martini glass throwing against the wall for effect is optional). That said, even the bold Ms. Davis would be appalled at your filthy mouth.
When was the last time you flossed? Even if your response was “yesterday,” you’re nasty. Think of all of those food particles just sitting in-between your teeth, rotting, from then until now. You just swiped your mint toothpaste over the front and back of them as they sat there, causing bad breath and risking your overall health (poor oral hygiene has been linked to increased risk of cancer, erectile dysfunction and low birth weight in newborn babies). If that wasn’t scary enough, a 2013 poll showed that only 50% of Americans floss daily and it’s roughly the same for brushing more than once. Kind of makes you want to hold out on that kiss, huh?
4 | You linger in your bath towel.
Is there anything more glamorous than indulging in a steamy shower then wrapping yourself in a big, gorgeous, Turkish towel? It depends. How many times have you participated in this ritual since washing it? If the answer is more than three, well, congrats; you’re gross. And if you’re sharing towels, even with your sexy-so-and-so man, well, you know why you can’t sit with us. Stop wrapping yourself in bacteria and wiping your face where someone else wiped their you-know-what and get your load together.
5 | You workout in new yoga pants before washing them.
We’re going to assume that-strip or no strip-you would never bring an unwashed a bathing suit or piece of lingerie close to your body, but did you know that your Athleisure picks can also carry human secretions? According to research performed by Dr. Philip Tierno, director of microbiology and immunology at New York University, a silk blouse tested positive for vaginal organisms and fecal matter–both of which can survive on a garment for weeks. That’s longer than most Tinder relationships! Now, since you can’t wash before you buy (or buy before you try), it’s a no-brainer solution to wear a thin layer of clothing under new items. Be sure to cover your armpits as that area is known to produce a high level of secretions (how icky is that word?).
This post was originally written for Gotham Bandit