By Brenda Della Casa for Gotham Bandit.
When it comes to playing house there’s a universal rule that’s tried and true and always works to a gal’s benefit: keep it dirty in the bedroom and clean by the counters. Get it right and the company you keep will keep coming around. Get it wrong, and well, let’s be candid: no one wants to date someone with a dirty a** kitchen. Now, we know you wash those dishes and wipe those floors before anyone comes through the door (we hope), but the harsh reality is that there’s more to clean than clear cupboards. Here are five ways to know if you’re a closet dirty girl. Be warned: things are about to get nasty.
1 | You wipe everything down and call it clean.
Would you put a sweaty sports bra on post-shower or slip back into a worn-in-the-ocean-all-day bathing suit without giving it a proper rinse? We didn’t think so. Most of us know that moist items are breeding grounds for bacteria and, with that in mind, we want to know: when was the last time you cleaned your kitchen sponge? You know, the one you wipe the plates and forks and glasses you use to eat and drink with? Kitchen sponges are known as the most germ-laden locations in the entire house (toilet seats included). So, if you’re cringing quietly in your cubicle, here’s what the folks at Good Housekeeping suggest you do:
- Soak your sponge in full-strength vinegar for five minutes or pop it into the microwave (wet, not dry) for two minutes. Both have been shown to kill 99.9 percent of germs.
2 | You have just one go-to cutting board.
First, let us applaud the fact that you cook. Good for you. We love whipping up a healthy meal. Now, tell the truth: do you use the same board for everything from raw meats to delicious salads thinking it’s OK because you clean it with soap and water? We thought so. That’s disgusting. According to research, an average cutting board has 200% more fecal matter on it than a toilet seat. Worse, bacteria can live in the grooves of wooden boards. Ready to change your ways?
Get two boards.
- Clean them with hot soap and water.
- Disinfect them with bleach and water (for plastic), Mr. Clean and a water solution, or the microwave.
- Place them in an area where they can fully dry.
3 | You treat your dish cloth like a booty fall.
You like it well enough. It looks nice and though you don’t pay a lot of attention to it, it’s always there when you want it and then you wipe your hands with it (sorry, we couldn’t resist). You may think there’s no harm as long as you use protection (a soak in the sink with some strong detergent), but it’s not that simple. According to the experts on the Hygiene Council in London, E.Coli is a mean S.O.B. and it lives strong on six out of ten dish towels. So do 100 million bacteria. Ready to offer up a little respect?
- Take your dish towels and soak them in a mixture of bleach and water, rinse and then wash.
4 | You have a dirty mouth.
Do you really want to kiss someone who has just taken a big bite of bacteria? We didn’t think so. When you’re offering up those grapes and strawberries, giving them a quick shower isn’t going to cut it.
- Place wet grapes in a strainer and cover in salt and a little baking soda. Toss them around, rinse and wipe.
- Strawberries can be washed in a 10:1 water/vinegar solution and then rinsed and patted dry (this will also help them last longer).
- Soak veggies, like broccoli and cauliflower, in water for 2 minutes then rinse and wipe down. Pour some wine, flirt shamelessly and make out in-between courses.
5 | You give everything a clean sweep.
OK, we are not about to deny our love for our Swiffer®, but we wouldn’t rely on a couple of cloths and a few frantic sweeps to keep the five-second-rule in full-effect (scientists say is pretty safe if your floor is relatively clean). If you’re a Swiff-and-go girl, it’s time to up your standards and go a little high-maintenance.
- Give your floor a good scrub with soap and hot water (in circle 8 motions).
- Rinse the mop and wash until all of the soap is gone (and for goodness sakes, change the water when it gets dirty and grimy else you’re just rubbing wet dirt everywhere).
- Then, with a fresh bucket of hot water, wash the floor once more in the same way.
Once clean, well, what you do on it is up to you…
Be honest: How dirty do you feel right now?
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